


Missing Billy

by McG



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 04:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McG/pseuds/McG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dom lives in LA, Billy does not. They're not meant to be so far apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dom's missing Billy and writes an introspective stream of consciousness.

Where do you draw the line between persuasive and stalker? Is refusing to give up on someone fighting for love and happiness, or is it just a tragic inability to let go? When does living in hope turn into living in the past?

Were we really in love? Me and Billy. Billy’n’me. Together, everyday. Supposedly, if you don’t know, then the answer is no… But what if you did know, and then you forgot, and now you can’t remember whether you really knew it or if you were just kidding yourself? Life isn’t like the films –but then where do the films come from?

I thought it was a good idea to move to LA. Everyone said I could do anything I wanted now. It was supposed to be good for my career. They counselled that I wouldn’t miss my friends because they’d be turning up all the time anyway because I’m living in the heart of film. I convinced myself I wouldn’t miss Billy because we were so close in spirit that a few thousand miles wouldn’t affect it. But I am concerned about the lack of talking between us, and I can no longer remember all the good reasons that our New Zealand thing had to end.

Are we meant to be together?

When a prophecy is made, and literary figures try really hard to avoid them happening, then their actions pretty much always end in them fulfilling the prophecy. Is this the same? If I push too hard for my happy ending, will I end up bringing it crashing down around me? There’s the wonderfully romantic notion of fighting for what you believe in and fighting for love but in reality doesn’t everyone just sit back and watch it happen, and then regret it for the rest of their lives? Because life isn’t like the films. Richard Curtis didn’t script me and I certainly won’t be swooning over Hugh Grant within two hours. How much of that can be recreated? Should you always confess your undying love, _just in cases?_ Perhaps it’s better to watch from the sidelines, a martyr to love.

Unrequited love is, and always has been, the ultimate tragedy. You can dwell on it, or put it to one side and just get on with your miserable life. I’ve never been sure which is right. I don’t believe in soul mates. I do believe in true love.

Sometimes it would be so useful to have foresight, or at least an impartial omnipotent view of the whole thing. You have to trust that whatever is meant to happen, will. Have faith that you will get your happy ending. But I can’t just relax and let it happen because I don’t have faith or trust in some higher being or bigger plan.

I wish I knew what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third person ramblings on the time they've been apart.

It’s been 4 months since Dom moved to Los Angeles, and he still hasn’t been given work. To begin with he reported back every audition and every meeting with his agent to his parents and to Billy. The constant rejection began to weigh on him though, and he gave up telling them. They kept phoning to check in for a while, but quickly learned not to ask about work. 

When Billy took on a project with the local youth theatre back in Scotland he had hoped Dom would be excited for him. He was angry that Dom was jealous, but he also felt guilty that he’d pushed Dom to go out to America to seek his fortune. 

_“The streets are probly paved with gold, Dommie, you’ll see.”_

_“But what if the big kids pick on me, Bills?”_

_“Well I’ll have to come out there and beat them up for you.”_

_“You should come with me anyway.”_

_“You know I would in a heartbeat Dom, if only they had decent porridge.”_

The casual teasing and mock-fear hiding the real emotions of outright terror and utter heartbreak. 

Viggo had described their friendship as being like a great love affair. Billy would never admit it, but he loved Dom more than any girl he’d known. Dom frequently admitted that he loved Billy more than any girl he’d known, but he would declare his undying love for the TV if he thought it would listen, so Billy didn’t take it all too seriously. 

Being alone in a strange city with different money, and culture, and no friends at all though, Dom decided that this felt more like a lost love than anything. 

Billy had stopped calling so often. Either because, as Dom assumed, he didn’t care about Dom as much, had replaced him with a new best friend and was having a brilliant time. Or because of the actual reason, that he felt awful that things were ok for him and weren’t happening at all for Dom. 

Dom considered himself someone who liked change, loved a new challenge and would feel frustrated living in the same place too long. Moving to America was a great opportunity and if he'd managed the other side of the world then he could manage this, no trouble. Unfortunately, a big part of coping with moving to New Zealand was the camaraderie of the cast being in it together. They were all part of the same epic adventure. 

He’d never felt so alone as he did now. 

Sometime during his fifth month there, Dom started phoning and emailing Billy again. He made it his mission to try to persuade the other man to move to America too. There was crying, and guilt trips, and one particular Tuesday morning, Dom phoned either drunk or high or both to rant for a full half hour about how their friendship was a love affair and that Billy was too stubborn to see it, and that Dom would not give up on him and he’d chase him to the airport and fuck the security guards, because they were meant to be together and Billy was a bastard for not loving him anymore. Billy could hear the menu music of _Love Actually_ in the background and understood better where Dom was getting his ideas. Nonetheless, he felt awful that he wasn’t there for Dom and that he’d been so persuasive in making him leave.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Reunion. Guest-starring the Astin family.

Billy shrugged his bag further onto his shoulder and scanned the crowd waiting in arrivals. Christine spotted him first and waved, getting his attention and trying to stop the girls from throwing themselves at their Uncle Billy.

“Sean’s waiting in the car, the car park’s a little chaotic.” She explained, kissing his cheek.

“Have you actually seen Dom yet?” Billy asked quietly, as he made admiring faces over the new sunglasses Ally was showing him.

“No,” Christine answered, “we spoke to Mac this morning and he said they were both excited for us visiting, but,” a slight hesitation, “he didn’t sound convinced. I’m not sure now that keeping you a surprise is the best thing.”

“Too late now.” Billy said, with a smile that could have been a grimace.

Sean had the car waiting in the drop off zone, and jumped to help Billy with his bags, hugging him enthusiastically. The journey through the crowded streets to Mac’s house was slow, and Billy filled it with small talk, catching up with the Astins’ lives as he tried not to worry about Dom’s reaction to him being there.

Over at Mac’s house, he was equally nervous about the surprise they had planned, beginning to think it might have been a mistake as Dom dragged himself round the place with a hoover in a vague attempt to help tidy the place up.

Christine made a brief call once they were almost there, and Mac hurried Dom to get the cleaning things put away, and forced him into a clean t-shirt. He managed to get Dom standing by the door waiting to greet their guests just as the car pulled up, and found his arm crushed in a death grip as Dom saw Billy getting out of the car.

For Dom, the world seemed to stand still for a moment, as Billy slowly emerged from the back of the car, eyes immediately fixed in his direction, and a nervous smile on his face. Dom heard himself squeal and felt he wasn’t making any decisions for himself and he squeezed Mac’s arm in thanks (and a little in fear) and then launched himself towards Billy, almost unbalancing them both as he pinned him against the car, arms crushing him and his face buried in Billy’s neck.

“You’re here! You’re here, you’re here, you’re here.” He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and so went for both.

“I’m here,” Billy soothed, “for as long as I can be. And you’re coming back with me for Christmas, and I might see about coming back out after until these American idiots get off their arses and employ you”.

The rest of the afternoon was passed with many hugs between everyone, playing with the children and gorging themselves on food, but later in the evening when it had all calmed down, Billy and Dom found themselves tightly packed into an armchair, with Dom clinging on to Billy’s arm like a security blanket.

“I thought you didn’t need me anymore.” Dom murmured, staring into his beer.

“Daftie. I’ll always need you Dom.”

“I don’t want you to leave. Ever.”

Billy smiled and kissed the top of Dom’s head, “We’ll talk about that tomorrow, Dommie.”

Dom grinned to himself that Billy was at least thinking about it, and decided that maybe things could still turn out ok.


End file.
